TheOneBigLove ; Will It Be A Lasting One.

should i trust u ?

2009-12-29T08:11:00.000-08:00

im confused.. how i wish i can knw wad u're thinking deep inside u .. sigh .. can u pls explain to me ?

2009-12-24T00:48:00.000-08:00

X'mas Eve ! =))

Today is X'mas Eve ! Benny say tonight going Boat Quay ~ AGAIN ?! Sick of there man ..

Tonight's gonna be a night for us to count down and at the same time , gather together once again ! YEAH !

But seriously , i don feel like going Boat Quay .. See how ba , later calling Benny and discuss about it . This year , seems like everybody is so busy to plan what to do tonight . zZz Including me , no time to plan too .

Hmmm , mostly imptly is , everybody gets to gather and play hard isn't it ? It's about the smile , laughter and joy . Ya ? (>_

Errr .. Tml is off day for me . Eh ? is for everybody , not just me . hahahas . Except for Taxi , Mrt , Buses , Convenient stores and many more ? LOLS . hmmm . everyday routine is still the same , wake up at 8am , work til 6pm and then go home . Have a dinner first followed by internet and then , Zz monster time . hahahas ! ^.^

Guess what ?! i gtg alr . =)) here's my advance wishes , Merry Christmas To Everybody !

p/s : Merry Christmas To You Too , Hope u enjoy ur day ! =x

2009-12-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

NVR ONCE ! NVR ONCE ! fuck !

2009-12-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

WOO !! This blog rusty till the core man ! F*cking long nvr post alr . im using this blog is bcos im lazy to create one . and yeah , jus feel like blogging out of the sudden . =)) hahas . hmmm .. ORD LO !! xD

2 years had passed . i've learnt alot during these 2 yrs . Time passes not very fast but not very slow too . The day i went back camp to collect my Pink ic , i was like .. very tired !! Went to BQ and drink for the whole night ! after tt straight away go back camp and do medical ffi , and den collect my ic . zzz .

when everybody walked out of the camp tgt , tonnes and tonnes of memories and past jus flash pass my mind . all abt my life in Army .. Every defining moments , every pictures of us coming back from outfield , our laughter , arguments and so many more !!!! blah blah blah ~

alright , shan't tok abt Ord thingy alr . Tired of the word " ORD LO '' alr . zz

hmm , started work immdly after i Ord . Every one else is enjoying , but im not . =( But , it's ok la .. FUCK ! NO MOOD TO WRITE ALR ! CCB !

2008-12-22T09:47:00.000-08:00

chatted with him ytd.

well , all ie can say is .
ie nort only remember ur bad things .
of course ie remember ur good side.
cause no one is totally bad of course.

How u picked me up from sch everyday .
torelate my parents scolding in public ,
picking me up from work
giving me surprises ...
and also torelating my attitude , etc ....
all these are all remebered and appreciated.

well , dont think ie will be updating in this blog anymore ,
cause there nothing much to blog abt anymore..
this blog will be left as a PLACE to read up everything once in awhile.
remembering the good old times and also bad ones.
lol ,
well , lets just put it in a way ,
a place that once had a beautiful memories and story in it.
Now its just a memory .

im rly nort saying that u are the BAD guy , The worst guy ie ever met or what .
cause u seriously are NORTTT ....
even now , ie tell some guys that ie only aknowleage 1 guy as my ex.
all my other ex airnt consider my ex cause
ie didnt truely loved them b4.

well , but im NOT going to mushy ard here =.-
lol ,
so ...
just wanna say .

u moved on , im moving on too .
we are heading to our own separate lives alr.
ie wish u all the best to u and ur gf ,
and of course ...
any circumstances u will face ahead , u have my blessings.
definietly we are still friends ;D

Byebye .

2008-12-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

guess someone feels im pushing all faults to kaming?
so , kaming got phobia of my attitude ,
den what abt me?
im nort afraid of getting timed agains.
my phobia is bigger than his , thats why im always so insecure.
whenever he says he's going to where ever ,
ie feel so afraid he's going to meet another girl.
think ie wasnt afraid?!

Yes , ie admit my attitude is like fcuking horrible , like fcuking hell horrible.
its impossible for u ppl to imagine.
but seriously lahs.
im still not to that extend whr ie have gone insane and attitude ard FOR NOTHING.
there is shure a reason behind it .
what that caused me to get angry .
what that caused me to explored , did it ever occur to u?

yups , ie ever unreasonably attitude him in far east .
this up to know , ie noe im fcuking hell wrong for doing that .
but u cant use the word phobia as if u wan say phobia .
common lahs.
iie suffered a bigger phobia.

even if ie have a super sucky attitude ,
in the end , in a r/s most imptly is loyality and trust .
He spoilt it all .
we tgt for only 1 months+ he alr spoilt the trust that we are building up .
ie dunnoe why ie forgiven him at that time ,
till now sometime ie ask myself maybe ie shuld have let go at that time
den the hurt wouldnt be so great now.
but in the end , each time when ie feel maybe he's changed , he will timed me agains.
everytime new faces appear.
new girl , as tho having me wasnt ever enuff.

but , im not gonna talk abt that anymore.

ie just wanna say , we both got our wrong.
He is a good bf , rly.
ie can say , the bestest bestest BESTTTTEST one ie ever had .
a very good one thats why ie will love him so much .

he's flaws is he's still nort rdy to settle down in a r/s with ONE girl bahs.
But , to me .. this is alr too much for me to accept cause
ie expect that since he's my only bf , ie wan to be his only gf.
But ie cant.

ie thought by holding on to him ,
ie can slowly change my flaws and he slowly settling down with me .
but in the end , we create more reasons to hate each other.
ask me if ie hate him , ie will say yes. ie fcuking hate him ..
hate him for letting me fall in love with him when he wasnt rdy to settle down in this r/s.

My flaws is my attitude , this ie noe myself .
he says it all the time also .
so ,

ie guess what im trying to say is.
maybe we are nort match for each other ?
cause im looking for a guy who is willing to settle down in a r/s .
love one girl , only care for one girl .
and nort loving girl A ,
next talking to girl B slowly feeling girl B is also nort bad .
gaining feelings for girl B yet also still love girl A .
den dont knoe when , Girl C will appear .

and im also not match for him
as he's looking for a girl who wont attitude him .
nort a girl who will scream at in the public ,
or spamming calling his hp.

and ie seriously hope that whoever he is with now .
that he wont timed the girl too .

To all the guys :
If u are nort rdy to settle down ,
dun fcuking jio a girl .
den treat them super good .
let them slowly falling for u deeply den smash their hearts.
cause u airnt us ,
u wont noe how much pain we have to go thru .

it may look simple ,
just forgeting this person , moving on with our lives.
But , during the process of forgetting this person is alr a process of going thru HELL ,
and slowly moving on dragging ourself out of the hell cave when all our body are cover with blood
and scars.
yes ,
the scars is permanent and it might change our life forever.
u airnt us , u guys wunt noe how much hurt u will cause us Oka?

p/s : ie wunt ever regret ever once loving u , ie wunt regret holding on to u for so long .
ie wunt regret every slightest thing that happened to us .
regardless happy / sad .
cause ie noe they are part of my life story ,
no use regretting when its alr happened.
instead , ie will treasure them and making sure ie wunt ever repeat any mistake
that will repeat my misery.

p/s : maybe 10 years down the road , we spot each other ,
this time both of us changed ,
who knows .... our story might begin again .
hahahha , nah . joking.

p/s : Last with ur gf alrights , longer den us.
cause if u dun , ie will be laughing at u .
remebered u said ' she gave me a very good impression '
it rly sound as tho she is super goood ,
so , make shure u both last :)

2008-12-17T10:02:00.000-08:00

ie didnt want to write abt this to prevent
ppl for using this to humilate me / say me.
whatever it is.

But somehow , im bored now .
and ie think , its ok that ie say this cause at least now ..
ive alr let go of this relationship right?

well , before ie went to genting viewed his friendster :/
and ie was so stunned to see his status ' In a relationship '
gOSH , ie wunt deny , ie felt so upset until my tears swelled up .
ie cried for awhile and del-ed his friendster immdly ,
which ie dunnoe why ?
guess ive seen enuff .

then ie remember he said ,' if one day ie gt a new gf , it means ie alr consider properly. '
well , then ie believe he must have made up his choice properly .
he must have alr decide that this girl was meant for him .
[ wonder how long he noe that girl only ? ]
nvm la , different ppl gt different ways of knowing a person .
maybe he just need 2 weeks or so to noe and believe that this is his mrs right?
hahahas.

den ie realise , ie shuld give him my blessing right?
like , thats what ie shuld be doing .
giving my blessing .
yes , when ie looked ,
ie said to myself ,' hope u both last uh :) '

anyways , ie watched this show.
they said ' in this world there's no such thing as i cant live w/o u.
after listening to this , ie so agreed .
and this hit me .
ie dunniid him to live !

ie noe in this whole relationship for coming 2 years ,
aiiya ... is 2 years 6 months , only thing is for 8 months we werent tgt but we still behave
like couple cans?!
so , ie consider that as 2 and a half months , ive always been faithful .
nv once ie timed him.
this ie swear .
altho when we broke alr , ie did go out with other guys ,
but all merely friends.
and , ie actually forgive him so many things which ie shuldnt at all .
holding on to him so tightly.
loved him whole heartedly ,
ie given my all , everything ie can do for him , ive done it.
ie holded on till my very last ,
until im rly tooo hurt and tired to continue chasing behind his back.

ie can say , the girl he's with now ..
her love cant even be compared to mine :B

Hahahas ,
but thats the past now.
now , ie realise ..
all the while ie would just sacrifise my feelings for this relationship .
when he timed me and stuff ,
because of loving him too much ,
or what u ppl said ' BLINDED BY LOVE '
ie forgive him again and again , no matter how hurt i am .
ie ignored my hurts and forgive him.
No matter how he ignore me , no matter how he hurted me .
ie ignore my hurts and hold on.

But , im done.
ie have neglected myself too much .
because of love , ie try to forget the hurts and hold on.

yes , ie cant say he's the bad guy .
cause ie have my flaws too .
my attitude = sucky.
hehe :B
But , ie believe it wunt be as hurting as a person u love having another person outside right?
well ,
ie realise , now ,
ie wanna seek for my own happiness.
someone who will be paitent with me , care for me and pamper me never neglecting me.
someone who see me importantly ,
nort a person who 1 week ago will msg u every single day ,
care for u
after awhile become so cold and only care to chat with other girl .

ie am rly too tired , ie cant keep ignoring my feelings .
because ie forgive once , 2nd time happen ,
and because ie forgive twice ,
3rd time happen .
there will never be an ending .
we dragged for so long ,
he went to his ex and say miss her and stuff ,
ltr went to his ex friend and jio her friend ,
maybe he was rly playing only.

for one min , ie actually told myself maybe ie can just forget abt this.
cause like he said ' he no wrong . he's single what .'
ie actually thought his words are right and he didnt did any wrong ,
im just too over hurt by it.
But now , again when ie think bakk .
he did give me his word , he told me he loved me ,
and we are dragging this relationship cause we are in consideration of each other.
we are half patching back stuff.
he shuld nort be doing these stuff at all ,
since he claim he love me.
Agains,
ie realise ie neglected my hurts to compromise to him .
and again thought of ignoring this whole situation.

but , suddenly he said he lost feelings for me cause he met this good impression girl.
ie realise thats how 'deep' his love were for me.
heh!
very ' deep ' .
lol!
he isnt a bad guy , but what ppl say .
' HUA XIN ' or maybe some guys likes to enjoy many girl loving him.
maybe he loved me ?
but he feels one girl isnt enuff.

But now , ie wan someone who
will love me and only me ,
no matter how many 'goood impression' girl pass by , they still love me.
lol .
well , ie believe this guy will pass me one day .
and when this guy comes ,
ie wunt hold back ,

cause ie totally give up hope on this relationship alr.
ie totally dont pin any hopes on this relationship alr.
and , everyday ie remind myself everything that ie pull through ,
but never was ie appreciated .

slowly , ie feel my feelings for him are decreasing ..
ie will be gone soon ,
like ie said ..
im walking str8 and ie will nv turn back .

Wow , writing my heart out feeels goood .
hahahas ,
anws .
one more thing ,
ie just wanna let ppl noe .

every starting of the relationship is only a HONEYMOON period ,
dont put ur whole heart in immd cause , for 1-5 months ,
ur partner will treat u super duper goood ,
he/she wunt mind travelling far just to see u .
he/she will treat u like a piece of rare jade , treasure u .
But after the honeymoon is over , thats when ur partner true love will appear .
thats when ur quarrells starts .

ie realise , ie devoted myself to him during the honeymoon period ,
slowly , when he timed me , because of love.
ie forgive , slowly again and agin repeating same mistakes.
because ie used to believe ,
as long as ie hold on , as long as ie love him ..
one day he will realise this , he will appreciate me by caring for me , faithful towards me
and giving me back the love ie gave to him..
But , ie was wrong ..
im a fool to believe this .
in the end , im still left with nothing.

It wont work went another party doesnt cooperate ,
when another party doesnt realise but instead take advantage of ur love.

Haiis :/
but its alright , lesson learned .

2008-12-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

You walked in to my life,
But just like that, You walked back out,
Still you will be a memory,
A memory that I have created in my mind,

Still you will be a memory,
A memory that will always be locked,
Away in my heart and my mind,
I will always have a memory of you in my heart,
And I will always carry that picture of you in my mind.

A memory that will last with me a lifetime.
A memory that will be told to my children .
A memory so dear to me , ie wunt ever forget .
I cant have anything anymore ,
ie dun wish to have anything else too ,
cause , ie noe ...
everything will turn back the same in the end .
A replay ,
however .. This memory ie will cherish always .
OUR MEMORIES.

2008-12-11T05:09:00.000-08:00

You never felt the way I did and never shared my pain,
You made me feel so wonderful when we met, yet so insane.
Crazy for thinking you and I could be together, you and me?
I can only hope that someday you will see the way that I see.
I love you, I always will.

I have never regretted knowing you in my life ,
I never will ,
But , I cant hold on to something isnt there.
YOUR LOVE.

But its alrights ,
Friends still .

2008-12-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Every harsh word
Every cold shoulder
Every look of disgust that passes over your face
Wears down on me
Every intolerable remark adds to the burden placed on my shoulders
I carry every degrading comment with me,
And it's breaking me down.

And I'm done
I can't smile and say it's o.k. anymore
I can't be optimistic and say I agree
I can't grin and bare it one more day
I'm hollow inside
I'm done

I'm at the end of my rope
I've given all I can for you And I'm Done.

This poem says it all ,
im only fooling myself and im done .

ps : ive been fooling myself , ive been turning myself round and round ..
But now , ie will walk straight and never turn back .

2008-12-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

Going on as the days are passing
Moving on as if nothing is happening
You know what hurts me the most
you know how you leave me lost

I never let you see the tears in my eyes
But we know you can see them after few tries
Pretending that if i convince myself that I'm okay

I'll start to really believe it one day
When you get pissed you just neglect
When you're confused you disrespect
You Ignore me when i need you most
You don't even care & leave me lost
I hope things will get better in time
I hope one day i'll stop pretending .

Just had a good chat with my mum abt relationships stuff.
ie feel what she say is right..
Thanks mummy for cheering me up.
But , idk why , till now .
ie feel like giving it one more try .
cause , ie keep having that feeling that if we ever patch agains .
Thing will be better agains.
haiis , maybe im just silly and foolish .
idk .
But ie believe , as time passes ..
maybe one day u will see me writing the word ' i dont love him anymore '
maybe one day ,
ie will move on unknowingly.

boy..
if one day , im gone for shure.
will u ever regret ?

With Love ♥

2008-12-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

And so I spent each day of my life
With my heart in pieces
And when I thought it could never be cured.

I waited for your love in hope,
That ours would come again,
And make me feel the things I felt,
When we were one, back then.

But time and distance have erased,
The things I wished anew,
And now I find myself alone,
Forever wandering,
in my thoughts and I shall ask you once again,
' Do you love me or not? '

was so angry with u when u scold me cause ie msg-ed wrongly.
god!
But , nbms ba.
used to it lers.
Haiis :/

ie wan meet u is cause ie miss u cans?
u up to now still dun understand me meh ??
Haiis.

2008-12-03T03:20:00.000-08:00

Now she is living all alone,
With nothing she can call her own.
She can barely make herself eat,
Wondering if her life will again be complete.

Tutu mouth.

Hmms :/
just decided to blog ba -.-'

2008-12-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . .
My heart says stay .

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Somehow , if only time can turn back.

Everyone ask , why not let him go ?

If its easy , ie would have earlier..
somehow , my heart still wanna hold on .
idk why , but ...
ie guess thats love .

2008-12-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Every day and every night, I think about you.
The rules don't even matter when you enter my heart.
I thought I shut you out,
But somehow, my heart never completely closed the door on you.

Each time I lay alone, crying,
I wish you were there with me.
I don't understand why I still want you there.
I never have been able to forget you,
No matter how hard I try and how long I give myself time.

I wanted our love to begin.
But still, you kept moving away.
I wanted to tell you to stop,
but I couldn't part my lips,
and my heart began to drop.

Boy , did u ever think ..
If u didnt do all these things..
Maybe now we would have patched?
Did u ever think if all these didnt happen , maybe now ..
we will be sms-ing each other eveyday .
Haiis :(

U keep reminding me of our past , our memories .
But this hits me , why keep thinking abt our wonderful memories ,
when in actual fact ,
if all these didnt happened , we could build out more new wonderful memories tgt.
Haiis ..
somehow , why didnt u think abt that ?

If u would just stop pushing me away ,
maybe things wouldnt come to such worst state .
If u would just stop ur stubborness , maybe things would still work out right?
Why u didnt think this way ..
and instead , pushing me away like nobody business.
Somehow , if u think differently ,
Outcomes would also have been different u noe?

With Love ♥

2008-11-30T05:40:00.000-08:00

I give up lers ...
haiis , ie actually keep on telling myself ,
1 last try , maybe everything will be different.
why give up so easily..
just try 1 more time..
1 try will do ...

End up , still the same.
u scream at me non stop ..
till the last min before u hung up ure still screaming.
Haiis .

Sorry , maybe all these was my fault .
ie shouldnt have misunderstand ur words ,
ie tot what u said in msn / msg was a sign of love..
But , end up ...
its just me thinking too much ..
im sorry ie cause u such unhappiness , im sorry ie caused u to go crazy .
dui bu qi .. wo de cuo :/
If ie didnt think so much , if ie didnt misuderstand and thought
u are trying to say u love me still ..
All these wouldnt have happened.
I'm sorry .

Haiis ,
just now my mother came into the room ..
thus , ie didnt ans u for awhile ..
cause , ie was waiting for her to leave the room ..
but u were screaming and screaming..
ie controlled my tears but the tears fell out my eyes.
ie saw my mother looked and she turn away .
Haiis .

Ltr while u were still screaming and scolding me and ie was crying ..
My mother came in the room ,
this time my whole face were alr red , my eyes full of tears.
ie hid my face away frm my mum .
Haiis :(

Sorry , ie made u angry ..
I apologise here to u kaming ..
I'm sorry .

2008-11-30T02:17:00.000-08:00

I am rally loveless
I am really clueless
I didn't know what to say
And I didn’t say it the right way

I love him
I miss him
I want him
But our love has been thrown in the bin .

Haiis ,
what u wrote in msn , and ur msges ..
are so sweet...
made me think ,
maybe we could take one more ride ..
But , before ie could get on the ride ..
ie meet with another disappointment.

Haiis !
what do u wan ?
ie rly dun understand cans?!!
ur actions and ur WORDS doesnt LINK!!
ur actions and ur WORDS doesnt match .
you speak those words ,
but ur actions does another .
whats wrong with u ?!

Forget it .

2008-11-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

I wait by the phone everyday
But you never call
I tell you important things
But you never listen
I say I love you
But you never answer
I write you mail
But you never respond
I ask if you love me, I ask if you care
But you never pay attention to me.

You make me feel all alone.
You make me feel unloved.
You make me feel like no one cares and no one ever will

How can you do that to someone you are supposed to love?
How can someone so sweet be so cruel?
How can I hate so many things you do but still love you so much?

Those are questions that will go unanswered forever
Because I can ask and ask but you will never respond.

Hmms ,
if u still love me , prove to me.
if u still care , show me .
cause , my heart is still with u..

With Love ♥

2008-11-28T03:57:00.000-08:00

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.
You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life.

I'll just be here on my knees picking
up the pieces of aheart that feels like
it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.
Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,

The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.

You see, what we have here and today,
helps me face the world,
with a love for you that gives a glow

but now, you made a choice.
My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.

With each piece I pick up ,I need to learn to let go.

many thought are in my mind now.

` whats he doing?
`is he with the girl he mentioned?
`haiis , is he thinking of me as well ?
`has he forgotten me?
`where is all our love we had?

But , ie guess ...
no use thinking so much ..
cause nothing helps.

With Love ♥

2008-11-27T08:22:00.000-08:00

I've never felt so numb before
I guess I've had enough
It could be a shock as well to realize how shallow our love is..

I can't feel anything anymore
No, I don't hate u
i know i still care..
i know i still love u ...
but , everythings need 2 hands to clap right ?
i cant do anything with only 1 hand.
my left hand is missing.
Haiis.

I don't know if there's still a chance for us,
only time will tell ...

ie wunt deny , im missing u ..
ALOT!

2008-11-26T01:14:00.000-08:00

i can't escape the thought of you..
even in my dreams you are there..
it's not fair your gone and how you'e moving on so fast,
while i am still living in the past..

ie asked myself ,
why issit u can take just a few days to fade feelings for me ,
and it seems like it will take centuries for me to ever fade feelings for u.
why my feelings for u keep staying strong when all ie wish now ..
is to let u go .
Haiis,
why is letting u go so difficult .
but why it seems so easy to u ?

2008-11-25T06:19:00.000-08:00

recieve msges frm kaming today .
Haiis D;

sorry , but its impossible we contact as friends now.
Yes , we can be friends ...
but ie cant contact u as tho nothing happened.
it's a rly torturing thing for me
Haiis :(

The only time ie will rly contact u is when ie have totally got over u .
like whatever u do , doesnt affects me anymore.
Somehow , right now ..
ie cant do so ..
Haiis D=

u may say , im just childish or navie ..
Thats cause u are not me ..
u dunnoe how much pain it is for me.
maybe , im just nort as strong as u ..
cause , for me right now ..
contacting u as FRIENDS is a very painful thing to do...
Haiis D;

aiiya , u wunt get it de..
cause ure not me .
u nv will understand how much hurt u have caused me...
deeper and deeper each time.

ur feelings for me fade , thats why ..
its easy for u to just treat me purely as friends.
cause u wunt feel a thing anymore..
however , im different.
ie still love u like dont noe what ..
ie cant just treat u as my friends ...
its something ie cant do .
Haiis.

With Love ♥

2008-11-24T08:54:00.000-08:00

Haiis .
I tell myself ,
ie must smile even tho how much pain im hurting inside.
But , whenever ie pass by places we been thr tgt ..
memories just hits my mind and ie will be affected.

Today , ie wore the black top which doesnt match the necklaces he bought for me.
tot of not wearing it ,
somehow ...
ie end up wearing it , only keep it inside my high collar.
Haiis D:

I dont wans to stay home , cause ..
staying home only make me think abt him moree.
staying at home only make me suffer.
Haiis ,
how ie wish im working now ..
den time and day will pass by faster.
before ie sleeps , ie looked at his msg agains .
Haiis ,
couldnt believe he mention the word fade feelings once agains.
Hais .

But , ie gotta stay strong .
ie must.

With Love ♥

2008-11-23T08:01:00.000-08:00

You said you love me,
but it doesn't always show...
You said you will always be there for me,
but you left me all alone...
You said you'll stand for me,
but you walked away when
I needed you most...

Just a few days ago , u told me u dunnoe how to express how much u love me.
just a few days ltr , u tell me ur feelings for me is fading alr.
Haiis .
U came back into my life and ie expected this time ..
everything would be a successful one uh ?
cause , u would have consider b4 even contacting me agains right?
But , end up ..
everything ended the same way ,
only thing .. the hurt just gets deeper everytime.

U feel she gave u a good impression .
Yes , a few days of chatting with each other u noe her so well alr.
So , hopefully ..
she is as good as u say she is.

U said, ' fade feelings means cant contact meh ? childish. '
But boy , this is cause u airnt considering my feelings.
U have made me thought that coming back into my life , everything will change.
We went thru so much ,
and just cause ie said some hurtful words to u when ie heard abt that thing.
Yes maybe it did hurt u .
But , did u think ie was hurt too ?
so , u shuld noe when im angry , upset ..
words just spills out frm my mouth w/o going thru my heart and brains.
But ended up , after thinking for awhile ..
ie decided , ie still wan this relationship , ie wanna try one more time regardless
im a fool to hold on or nort ..
ie sent u sweet msges hopefully , to make things right.

ie told u im willing to forget whatever she said and just continue like how we were b4 right?
But u actually tell me ur feelings for me is fading.
If u think u were the only one getting hurt , ie got nutting to say ok?

But , ie cant go on contacting u..
u fade feelings for me , but ie haven ..
My love for u is still so deep , tell me ,
how am ie suppose to watch u walk away frm me ?
Its will be like living in HELL!!
No , worst .
Haiis .
its not me being childish , its u not knowing my feelings .
u dunnoe how much hurt u will cause , if ie continue contacting u ..
ie will nv stop loving u .
Haiis , since this time u wanna let go agains by telling me u fade feelings.
den ...
all ie can say is ,
Hope u find ur happiness .

With Love ♥

ps: haiis , everything have repeat itself.
Good luck cas , u wil have to go thru everything once agains .

My horoscope todays says :
' It may be time to give up on a goal.
You had high hopes, but it's best to move on.'

2008-11-23T01:20:00.001-08:00

ie suppose everything is over.
Byebye .

2008-11-22T01:15:00.000-08:00

FCUK YOU ASS.
FCUK YOU CB.
FCUK YOU KUKUS.
FCUK YOUR STUPID ATTITUDE.

did ie do anything wrong?
Or u are the one doing things wrong
causing all these shits to happen ?
did i not say im willing to forget everything , since its 1 month ago?
instead of me fcuking ignoring u , u fcuking hell ignore me.
u fcuking kuku narden pcb .

Yes , pardon all these words im using .
Cause u have rly reach my limits .
i msg u nicely , i msg u properly .
u fcuking hell ignore it still .
i cor u , u dont ans .
next min u are outside having fun .
Yes FUCK U ONCE AGAIN.

u claim u LOVE me , u claim u fallen for me deeply .
dont just say , use actions la ass.

Thus , forget it.
im not gonna give a fcuking damn to ur fcuking attitude .
im nort gonna give a damn to fucking u!
when u fcuking feel like fcuking contact me , den contact me.
Alrights , look .
I DONT OWE U ANYTHING , ie did no wrong this time.
But ive been giving in to this things while u fcuking behave like
im the one who did all these things.
Know ur limit laa!

Today is a FCUK day .
so as ytd and ytd !

2008-11-21T03:46:00.000-08:00

Whatever that happened hurt me , yes .. alot.
But , how u respond to this problem hurt me even more..
instead of facing everything ,
u choose to escape and leaving me alone to walk on the hurting road.
Instead of showing me some responsiblity or cheering me up ,
u choose to ignore and push me away .
Yes , now ie noe why everyday ie feel more and more hurt , ie realised ..
its actually not what ie found out that caused me to be so hurt ,
its ur actions towards whatever that have happened.

Pushing me away without asking me what ie wan ..
if u feel that will do me good , yes
maybe ure right .
But , is that what ie wans things to be happening?

All those thing happened 1 month ago .
That's one reason why , ie wanna hold on.
Haiis D;
But , it seems like it isnt what u are thinking ..

2008-11-20T12:06:00.000-08:00

Breath is an excuse,
Life is a lie.
Were all cold and dry,
Until the day that we die.

he said that he loved me,
he said that he cared.
But he left me alone
Shivering and scared.

ie cant sleep right now.
My eyes are birnng hot , after crying for 2 hrs.
shags ~
im lost .

Yes , im hurt.
But ie dunwanna let go ..
Haiis D;
what the hell am ie thinking ._.

Those things happened 1 month ago ,
somehow that urges me to take risk and give this relationship a chance..
But haiis :/
what u said are clear ..
ie understand ur words.

2008-11-20T03:14:00.000-08:00

The way that I’m feeling is hard to describe
I feel lost and alone in this unbearable life .

My emotions are twisted, my stomach in knots
I wish there was something to erase my thoughts.

I am going to try to fake my smile
Maybe that will last for a while

It you think you see a smile on my face
Look a little deeper you’ll see I’m out of place
Maybe someday soon the sun will shine.

ps : once agin , ie fell hard to the ground.

2008-11-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

Haiis :(
feeling hurted now.
ie rly wish what ie heard isnt true ..
cause ,
like u said u change.

Now , half of my heart is telling me ..
dont listen to others and trust u , be on ur side..
another half is telling me to FCUKING WAKE UP .
haiis ..
ie dont noe if she is telling me the truth ..
but , ie believe she has no reason to lie.
But , the truth will be reveal very soon .

yes , im scare ..
scare to know the truth ..
scare to get hurt ..
But , if ie dont find out the truth ..
ie will forever be a fool .
Haiis D;

Boy , ie rly hope u wunt let me down ..
My hopes on our relationship are high .
U come back into my life and let me feel
we could start everything afresh .
Dont let me fall agains :(

I'm praying hard ..
for this relationship :(

2008-11-18T08:07:00.000-08:00

Boy ,
trust me when ie say this..
if we ever patch ,
our relationship will be a better and stronger one (:

ILU & IMU ♥

With Love <3

2008-11-17T08:16:00.000-08:00

Lately im a stranger to myself
Feeling strange is something ie can’t help
ie feel very empty inside.

is it fair u do these to me .
Just cause ure suffering from moodswings ,
u ignore me completely..
airnt my feelings important to u ?
why are u neglecting me like that ?
This part , ie dont understand :/

with love.

2008-11-15T02:03:00.000-08:00

been a long time since ie last updated yeah ?

ie had a bad dream .

Yes , a rly bad dream .

and , ie fear .. it will come ~~true~~ =c

why ?

cause .... * reasons .

But , forget it .. dont wans think so much .

kuku narden =x

2008-11-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

Q: am ie happy?
A: ie cant say i am.

thats for today .
cause , ie dont wish to update much on my mood here.
as .. whats the point.
still ,
spent 2 days with him .
happy ?
Yes , cause ie get to be by his side.
Unhappy ?
yes , cause ie saw something .
what ie did ?
Nothing , cause .. ie cant do anything.
How am ie going to overcome it?
Just .. a smile beyond my tears .

Goodnitees , byebye !

ps : ie wasnt a girl who hides her emotions , somehow..
ie am now.

2008-11-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

If you put negative energy into a situation, it will not have a positive outcome.

That's what ie gonna do , put a positive enegry into a situation.
In order to get a positive outcome xD

Well , just a thought to share.
With Love ♥

2008-10-31T09:51:00.000-07:00

Thks for this wonderful gift , my dear mi fong.
ie love it tons.
its a beauty!

Anws , went to kaming hus.
its like 5 months since ie went up .
his bed are still as comfortable as ever .
seriously , ie love lying on his bed than my bed.
cause , ie rly find his bed very very comfortable =D

BUTTT , thr's something more comfortable than his bed.
that's his arm
hehehe!
warm , comfortable and secure.
3 in 1.
lOl!

anws.
oh , ie forgot to mention abt the contact lens ie bought for him .
was thinking too much on his gift .
forget to write abt the contact lens.
he say its nort bad.
But , he's such a show off >.<
say his eyes alr brown .
But , its true laaa .
SO WHAT , mine oso lorrr =p

Hahaha , ie wanna watch coffin.
Hurry bring me go watch coffin!
raaahhhhhh =.=

ps : Thks boy.
I love it , including you <3
muuuuacks ~

2008-10-30T09:29:00.001-07:00

WELCOME BACK KAMING ;D

Hahahahas , actually ie was soo happy that ure back .
ie dont noe why -.-'
But ie feel thr's a stranger feelings btn us .
like , dont noe how to say .

u said u bought a prezzie for me in aus.
aww , so sweet of u .
im dying to noe what it is ,
no matter what , ie will LOVE it .
Hahahahas =D
anws , ie was so hoping u could come to my hus warming.
suay suay , is on ur sister wedidng day .
so ... this cant help it one.
nvm , u any time oso can come my hus de maaa =/

congrats ur sis for me yeah ?

tmr meeting u in the morning .
Hahaha , ie wanna eat laksa ,
will u bring me go eat laksa?
Heh~
alrights ,
call u ltr.
Byeeeee!

2008-10-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

UPDATES AGAIN

2AM AND HE IS NORT BACK YET !

fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk !
what is this !!!!
asssssssssss.
screw the aeroplane , screw the airport , screw the pilot.
why so long one ?!!!

im getting super impatient .
tmr ie have work , but ie dunwans sleep until ie hear his voiceee =c

2008-10-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

more updates.

Lastest news frm his bro .
kaming will only be back at mid night.
fcuk my day off !

I'm indeed very disappointed.
ie just spent my rare day off at home.
shags ~
cant express how unhappy ie am .
Who on earth come back frm aus at midnight?!!
wtf .

2008-10-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

DAY23

YESS . today is my OFF-DAY.
and im fcuking hell spending my day at homee !
why ?
cause ie haven recieve a call frm kaming.
wtf !
super pissed off laaaa.

Everything just doesnt go the way ie planned.
what time will he be back ?
will he even book out today ?
shags !
its so hard for me to get a fcuking off day .
and , ie get an off day spending my day at home.
its 5:16pm NOW and ie spent half of my off day at home alr.

KAMING .
u better appear in sg this instance and ask me out for a movieeee =/
Hahahaas !
ok . im going crazy .

hurry come back la.

2008-10-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

DAY 22
tmr , MY OFF DAY .
tmr , ur return .
But , im worried -.-'
scare u wunt be bking out tmr .. den ie take off for nothing alr.
shags ~
hope u can bk out man !

anws , ie now have 2 plaster on my finger =c
cause ie accidently cut myself when ie was working.
when u come back .. ie let u see my cuts.
Hahahaha =D

Think u sleeping now right?
gooodnites and sweetdreaaaam ;D
TMR , call me when u come back to sg alrights?

2008-10-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

DAY 21

Wah , its 3 weeks alr.
but u will only be back on wed.

Let me tell u a goood news.
ie manage to get another leave on WED.
Hope can see u when u bk out.
im tried so hard to get leave just cause ure coming back.
When ie tot u are coming back on sun .
I tried to avoid going work .
Now , ie noe u coming back on wed ...
again , ie tried to ask my supervisor to give me a day offf .

shags ~
im so afraid to get disappointed.
what if u dont wants to meet when u come back .
will ie be disappointed ?
arrrggggh .
suan liao , dont noe why im trying so hard oso -.-'
well , 2 moree days , u are backkkkk ;D

Have a goood sleep , sweetdreaaams <3

2008-10-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

DAY 20

A day ie thought ure suppose to be home.
lOl ,
but ur bro gave me the wrong date !!

nvm , just only 3 days ltr.
Hahahaha , dont noe why im getting so anxious to seeing u.
still remember u msg me ' wait for me to come back ok ? '
lOl!
am ie consider waiting for u to come back ..?
hmmmmm =/

Alrights laa ,
ie nv work today .
Why , caused ..
ie did some tricks.
every nite suppose to on my alarm clock maa .

Last nite , ie didnt.
ie told myself , if is fated for me to work .
My maid will call me , if nort she wunt.
and , SHE didnt call me =D
so , ie got an off day .
But disappointing thing is , off-ed at the wrong day.
RAHHH , kill u la.

Enjoy a good dinner tuck urself into bed
and have a good sleep ,
CAUSE 3 days ltr , u will be back in singaporee=D

2008-10-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

DAY 19

well , u coming back like in a few hours time?!

wasted ie cant take leave for tmr.
shags ~
ie oso scare can take leave u end up say dont wants meet.
ie shure angry de.
So anws ,
come back tmr , call me if u wan ba.
If ie nv ans means im working .
if ie ans , means im free.
LOL.

Alrights laa ,
goodnittes , have a good nite sleep .
tmr , ure back in SINGAPORE !
woohooo ~

2008-10-24T11:51:00.000-07:00

DAY 18

Boy ,
Hahahas ,
ure back on like sunday ?!
Im soo happy =D
hahahas .

alrights , gooodnites .
sweetdreaaams <3

2008-10-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

DAY 17

2 DAYS till ur arrival .
Haha.

Lazy to write whatever happened.

Hope u have a good sleep and look fresh when u come back frm
aus Ok ?
gooodniites , swtdreaaaams <3

2008-10-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

DAY 16
Today something happened at work .
make me unhappy.
due to my carelessness , ie had to pay the company $58.
sobs *

Alrights.

No mood to blog .
eat full full ok ?
Left 3 days to ur return !!
Hahahahas =D
gooodniitess , sweetdreeaaaam <3

2008-10-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

DAY 15

Hellos!
Today is my first day of work worhs.
Hahaha , dont worry peeps thr are rly friendly. =]

Tadaaa , look. my own name tag =p

Alrights , tho things went well today .
I felt unhappy.
WHY ?
because , ie cant choose my off day .
Haiis =C
most probably , my off day will only be on WEEKDAYS.
which u will be in camp .

See laa , everytime can meet u ,
u keep dontwans to meet me.
NOW , its so hard to see u liiao laaa.
idiot.
maybe its good to u baa ,
fang zheng .. u oso nort interested to meet me de. -.-'
But , somehow ..
it rly makes me fcuking sad .
even in the bus , ie felt like crying.
ie was like ' Haiis =c how? so hard to see u liiaoo . '

Haiis , anws.
5 .. eh no .
cause its past 12am ..
its 4 more days till ur return .
and ie dont think ie can see u =C
shags !!!!
pehhhchekk laa.

ie go sleep le baa .
may u have the sweetest dreamm of all , once agains.
Goodnite , mi fong.

2008-10-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

DAY 14

Alrights.
One good news , ie managed to get a job in SASA =D
dunnoe for u is gd news nort.
but , it is to me .
at least now , ie have income.
Hahahaas.
but , location ..
u might be alil unhappy.
its at bugis junction .

Ure coming back so soon .
Yay !!
hehee ,
alrights.
im going to eat my dinner now.
U eat full full too uh .
and , tonight.
AGAINS , may u have the sweetest dreamm ever <3

ps: counting down , 6 days =D

2008-10-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

DAY 13

7 more days.
sweett <3

Alriights , more and more ppl are spamming my blog.
shags ~
nvm .

think u shuld be having ur dinner in aus now?
eat full full yeah .
and , sleep ealry tonight.
goodnites ,
sweetdreaaams <3

ps : counting down , 7 more days.

2008-10-18T04:01:00.000-07:00

DAY 12

Haha ,
counting down to his return liao ..
8 more days ;D

Gosh , why am ie so happy abt it.
rahh .
alrights ,
going to ahma hus ltr on .
so , here is an early goodnite wish uh .

Sleep tight , and
ch0colate dreamms <3

ps: 8 MORE FCUKING DAYS TO GOOOOO =C

2008-10-17T03:09:00.000-07:00

DAY 11

Someone claim to be ur gf.
But , ie wunt believe .
until , u admit it urself =D

well , ie might be getting the job in SASA ,
hopefully ..
ie got it =D
hahaas,

did u notice?
Today is 17!
wow , we alr broke up for 5 months ,
if ie dont count the patch thing.
cause it only lasted less den a week den u said brk agains.
WE actually broke up for 5 months alr.
and still ..
my love for u is so over whelming.
shags ~
the same old words ,
' WHAT CURSE DID U PUT ON ME !! '
hehe !

anws.
ure coming back in ...
9 more days?
Hahahas , well ..
no idea why im so excited -.-'

alrights ,
wonder if aus food is nice?
is it all the western food?
LOL.
does it suit ur taste?
LOL , eat full full uh .
goodnites , sweet dreams ♥

2008-10-16T05:11:00.000-07:00

DAY 10

Today ,
thr's a job at expo , bkfair sales.
only for 7 days.
21-28 oct .

im thinking abt going.
cause , $5/hr rly nort bad liiao .
9am-10pm.
However, u will be coming back on 26.

ie oso dont know why ..
this rly made me pause,
should ie go and take this job?
My heart keeps telling me , ie wanna go find u immdly once u reach aus.
But ,
Hahhaa , u even before u go aus also dont wants to meet me.
ie think , u come back also wont baa.

ie think ie will be taking up this job if ie nv get the SASA job.
ie dont wants ltr dont work because of u .
den u end up saying ' ie dont wants to meet '

Why should ie hurt myself when ie noe ie will get hurt.

Hmm . anws ,
have a sweetest sweetest dream ever , remember to cover blanket uh =D
goodnites <3

2008-10-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

DAY 9

Hmm , today ie wen for a one day job thing.
thought ie would be able tod o a good sales with my friends and earn some $$$
however , did not manage to earn any .
shags ~

anws ,
ie was walking in PS and ie loooked at couple lap stuff .
and , saw one cute couple thing.
first thing ie tot ,
' how cute will km and me look wearing this '
Hahas , but ..
nah , dont think we will ever wear it ,
NOT cause we will nv patch .
cause up to now , still nort shure if our relationship still got help nort.
well , im nort predicting the future.
what ie meant was ..
kaming isnt those type who likes to wear couple stuff.
Hahahas,
so .. dont think we will ever buy that .

NVM , at least we got a matching contact lens.
hehe !
so , its ard 2 in aus now.
must be in ur dreamland now.
Hah !
goodnites and sweetdreammmms <3

2008-10-14T06:15:00.001-07:00

DAY 8

days seems to pass by so slowly.
up to now , only 8 days !!
=C

alrights , anws.
recieved a call from him.
AGAIN , ie dont know if ie should be happy or nort.
Haiis .

im rly afraid that if ie show him ie care for him ,
he wouldnt treat me nice anymoree.
so , now is 9.17pm ..
should be ard 11 pm at aus?
think ure sleeping soundly alr.

goodnites , sugar dreams <3

2008-10-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

DAY 7

Today , ie ask myself .
what am ie afraid of.
Yes , ie realise ,
im afraid of trusting u , im afraid of getting hurt.

each time , ie trusts u ..
ie ended up getting hurt.

hmm , anws .
have been having some negative thought .
cause ie cant seems to think abt anything positive.
shags ~

anws , hope u wear more jacket in aus uh ?
u said its cold right?
hope u dont get flu .
cover blanket when u sleeping.
goodnites and may u have the sweetest dream of all !!

2008-10-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

DAY 6

hmm , today is special .
cause , ie recieve msg and call frm him.

But .. seriously , ie dont know if ie shuld be happy or nort.
Yes , ie admit ie was jumping for joy when ie recieve his msg .
ie couldnt stop reading them .
ie open my inbox and read his msg over and over again.
smiled non stop .

But , when ie think abt ..
why when ie care for him , he doesnt care for me.
when ie ask him to stop contacting me ..
he starts treating me so nice .
why must he like that ?

Haiis D=
seriously , half of my heart have alr give up on this relationship ..
give up on him.

On monday , ie was alr too tired .
He rly hurt me alot alot on that day .
Haiis , sometimes ie wonder ..
do u actually love me?
Why sometimes , ie find it hard to believe that u love me.
seriously .. im rly tired alr.
im tired of getting hurt , im sick of always chasing after u ..
But , why ie find it so difficult to let go .

Anws , hmm ..
tho ie get to hear his voice for less den 2 mins , but ..
im satifised .
it alr made me smile so wide.
Hahahas =/

alrights , goodnites.
sugar dreams <3

2008-10-11T02:29:00.000-07:00

DAY 5

ie had this wonderful dream last night .
ie dreamt me walking into the church in my wedding dress .
Hahahas , and he standing at the front smiling at me widely in his suit.
all of the sudden , skipped part and we was at home .
ie cooked breakfast while he put his arms ard my tummy watching me cook .

Gosh ! how ie wish ie didnt woke up.
ie woke up at 2pm and ie forced myself to fall asleep again .
ie wanna continue to dream .
somehow , ie couldnt.
sobs !

But , it was a super good dream last night.
Hahahas =D

ie wonder , did he dream of me?
how ie wish ie can hear his voice right now.
gOsh , why am ie missing him so much !
arrgghh .
alrights , ie wunt be able to blog tonight .
going to my grandparents house.
So ,
here's an early goodnite wish .
nites :D
ch0colate dreams ♥

2008-10-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

DAY 4

Until we can be together again
Look down at your hands
And whenever you feel as though you're all alone
Remember that when we are side by side and
I grab your hand
My fingers fit perfectly into that empty space
I can't wait til I see you again

im missing you so much , Haiis.
what are u doing now?
thats what ie wanna ask.
do u miss me as much as ie miss u ?
thats what ie wonder.
can u sense how much ie love u ,
thats what ie wan to u.
alrights ,
hope u train hard today hor.
Goodniites , sleep well uh .
Sugar dreams :D

2008-10-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

DAY 3

Hmm , third day since ure away .
I'm missing u so much so much ,
wondering what ure doing now?
Having fun ?
Training hard?
No matter what , ie hope ure doing well .
SLEEP tight , sugar dreams ♥

2008-10-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

DAY 2

hmm ,
just played my maple finish .
Hahahas , today gonna sleep early ..
cause , tmr have to go interview .
ie noe he's going to be worry , will he?
ie noe he will ..
well , ie suppose he would , cause he told me he would.
Hahahas , dont know why he just doesnt like me to work.
but ,
im going to work !
$$$$$$$ .

alrights , so .. Hope ure doing well at aus baaa .
SLEEP TIGHT , sugar dreams .

2008-10-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

DAY 1

its 5am now , wonder what time is it at Aus ?
Thinking alot right now.
well , going to get some sleep .
hope ure having a wonderful sleep too ..
sugar dreams.

2008-10-06T22:31:00.000-07:00

Whenever ie tried to tokk , u nv listen.
Yes , just like today ..
ie wanna let u understand , but u didnt give a damn .
' kp , dont come lecture me ' Thats what u said ,

will that benefit this relationship ?
does that helps to improve this relationship ?
is that how a ' mature' kid shuld tokk ?

well, if it is .. by all means .. continue.

But , to me .. its clearly nort beneficial to this relationship .
its TOTALLY nort improbing this relationship ..
thats why , it has become so jialiat ,
it isnt mature at all .

Well , but why shuld ie care when u doesnt right?
since u dun care abt this relationship ..
den ie wunt anymoree .

Byebye .

2008-10-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

Guess everything worked out well at the begining .
so well that ie tot everything will be different.
So well that ie forget im nort suppose to have hope.

But now , everything is falling apart.
Maybe everything shuld go back to whr it started.
Maybe , thats a better way .
Maybe u have ur own thinking , But ie have mine too .
and im shure its different thats why we will quarrel so much .
Maybe thr's too much misunderstanding ?
I dontknow.
But , what has happened , happen.

Maybe one day ie look back , ure gone ..
Maybe one day , u look back , im gone ..
But dont worries , our memory will always be in my heart .
Only thing , our memory has become part of my story , part of my life.

Byebye .

2008-10-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

You are on my heart , just like a tatoo , Living every moment , ie will nv regret .
Memories of u , marks every thing ie do .

credited : melvin Ahgong.

Yes , u are just like a tattoo , once thr forever thr.
Only way , is to cut of that piece of skin / laser it off , yups ..
But u wuld have to go thru a lot of pain doing that .
Yes , thats why ..
letting u go is the most suffering and painful thing on earth .
cause , the tattoo make on my heart is so so so deeply pierced.

Thats how much u mean to me .. mi fong.=D

But sometimes , what ie rly want is ..
You to understand my feelings .

2008-10-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

WTH ?
ie expected a , ie miss u .
fine , nvm . enjoy urself den -.-''

goin out nw . xD

2008-10-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

er hem ! hmmm, da jia hao .
it's been quite some times since i post .
last night went out with my fren til morning . den come back home sleep for a long hours . shiok.
i ate chicken rice for my dinner . yumps !
and ya . jus finished using com , went to youtube and watch videos . funny . .
and nw ? goin out le lo . tml stil have to book in. sians , have to do packing for australia stuffs . loads of things to do tml . SIANS !
k ba . gtg nw , go my my frens le . see ya ! xD

2008-09-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

The day u spent 4 hrs awake and 12 hrs asleep at my hus .
Hah !
but it was a pleasure having u by my side .

I miss you ♥

2008-09-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

Lil mi fong , how come im missing u so much ?
why am ie thinking of u so much ?

ie remember myself saying ,
ie wunt make the smae mistakes ever agains ,
ie wunt let history repeats.
However , here ie am , thinking of u ,
loving u , missing u ..
like that silly lil girl. ♥

2008-09-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hah !
cant wait for u to accompany me at hm ,
while im studying on friday !
hehe .
I must say this , boy ..
im going crazy for u!
sh!t , im rly am ..
Hahahas =D

2008-09-23T05:50:00.000-07:00

ie realise , im loving you more & more each day .
what curse did u put on me huh ?!

from wanting to stop loving u ,
and now .. im agains , wanting to be in ur arms all day long.
Heh , watched M-18 with u ytd wors.
Niceee + go amk park walk walk ,
nicer .
u made promises to me ,
u said u dunwans to lose me anymoree.
the moment u hold on to my hand so tight.
I just felt very happy.
However , ie dunwans to rush into things .
cause we have yet to solve our problems.

imagine , with so many of our past problems ,
den we patch without solving them ..
next MOREEEEE problems coming out , how are we going to have a happy
relationship den?
shure , everyday , min quarrel like fcuk de.
den 1 month ltr , Brk up =.='
right?

I want bestest of the best in this relationship .
I want the best of you in this relationship ,
I want your fullest , bestest afford to be put in this relationship .
I want ur whole heart to be in this relationship .
If we were ever patching bakk ..
I wanna a lasting relationship with u .
I want a successful relationship.

2008-09-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

This blog is change to private liiao .
Gosh , finally ..
ie can write.

kamiing ,
meeting u on monday rly did made me happy .
altho , ie was quite scare that everything is just a lie ?
but , the moment ie recieve ur sms , ie rly felt so so happy.
Hahahahaa .
the moment our lipS touch at amk playground ,
ie felt electric flowing into my body .
the moment u looked into my eyes ,
it seems like ie kena electric shock ..

How ie wish that ure my real bf .
However, ure nort.
ie even forget that we are nort tgt at that moment.
everything felt so past .
as tho we are still tgt .

ie couldnt believe that 2 couple whu brk for 1 month w/o contacting each other .
yet , the moment we meet ..
everything felt as tho ..
we were nort even separate for a min.
Everything felt so right.
Haiis D=
thats something that scares me actually.
cause , im afraid ..
ie will start to have hope on us agains.

The moment u told me on fone ,
u realise ie rly love u de.
ie asked myself ,
is that too late?
or just in time?
Hahahaa , cause ie felt so so happy to hear that =D
Now im asking myself ..
are these real .. or its just another dream im in .

still , ie wanna let u noe ..
I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH !

2008-09-20T01:34:00.001-07:00

This blog will be change to private on MONDAY.
like ie said , its alr enuff .
KPOs , ie feel no privacy at all .
So , yess .
thats the best solution.
ie can keep my url & nort allow any unwanteds in my blog !
Hah !

piss me off , thats what u deserve .

2008-09-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

hellooo .
ie noe thr hasnt been much update right?
cause too many passerbys are reading here.
ltr tag this & that .
So , im nort blogging much laaa.
KPOs , all reading.
den spam spam spam -.-'

dont ask whu the KPOs im refering too .
yes , that u .
YOUUUU , Hahahaa .
if u are nort the one whu spam-ed my blog .
den nort u .
But , if u are the one whu spam & reading now.
YES , im refering to u .
KPO .

Hahahaas =D
so , no choice ..
cause of u ..
so many things ie cant blog , what to do leii .
Hahahaa , maybe ie should change my url for this blog.
But , this blog is create for years liiao ..
now change url , haiis.
bu she de orh.
see how ba.
If ie change the url .
only ppl involve in this blog will knoe the url .
that means only 2 person ?
LOL.
den will be weird , 2 person reading it only.
OH , maybe.. this blog will be made privatee.
KPOs , dont think of reading it =p

LOVES ♥

2008-09-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

so many things to blog abt .
but ie cant blog abt it !
Oh wells.

2008-09-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

Oh , look like this 'GHOST ' have replied.
ie thought she/he ran away ?
LOL.
welcome back my dear .
love my lecturing lesson uh ?
Icic =DD
ok, lets start =D

" FUCK U , WHO WANT JEALOUS OF U , SO UGLY , SO DISGUSTING , SO FAT!
PLEASE LA DONT TALK UNTIL U VERY PRETTY LIKE THAT! ' BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN ' VOMIT ! THERE IS ONLY DISGUSTING ***** IN U ! "

- Oh my ! look how deep ur jealousy is !
Fine fine , ie wunt say u're jealous of me ok ?
Smileee babe !
u noe urself cans liiao uh =D

anws , im really curious how u look like.
want to meet up soon ?
ie swearrr ie wunt bite u !
Hahahaa , whu noes . ie will liike u la !
and dont vomit laa , LOL.
ie rather u vomit blood .
Heh !

" CASANDRA IS A BITCH ! CASANDRA IS A BITCH " ( not going to continue , too many )

- seriously sweet , every girl is a bitch yeaah ?
which girl isnt?
especially when it comes to those whu they loves , and some not niice thing happen .
thats when a girl becomes a total horrible biitch isnt it?
Oh , mostly a girl will turn into a biitch when she's jealous .
oops ~ im not saying u are jealous laa .
( pss , u noe urself hOr ! Hehe )

" U SAY PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY URSELF ! DISGUSTING FACE ! THINK U VERY PRETTY ONLY ! FUCK OFF "

- say people ? well , ie admitted im a bitch .
every girl is , so what !!
LOL , unlike someone behaving like a queen biitch yet still saying someone else.
Hahahaas .
why cant ie think of myself as pretty , isnt it good
to noe that im confident of the way ie look ?
someone is worst , no confident of their own name!
thats a rly sad thing isnt it , ghost ?
Haiis D= ie rly do pity this person . * sobs *

" BITCH BITCH ............. WHORE ! PROSITUTE ! JIAN NU REN ! "

- Hahaahaa , okok . bitch bitch .
yeaa yeaah , its ok !
See , u didnt learn ANYTHING from the past lesson .
did ie told u to define the word " whore " .
guessing u didnt , shag ~
u have to make use of the dictionary , my dear .
u cant remain stupid forever right?
see , now worst .
using words like prositute , jian nu ren .
Do u even noe what it means ?!
Gosh ~

jian nu ren ? Hey , come on.
which part of ur eyes tells u im jian ?
LOL.
ie tried my best nort to contact someone and even del-ed his no.
cause he alr gt a gf , this is call " jian nu ren " ?
if thats ur idea what ' jian nu ren ' means .
den , u rly airnt educated at all !
waste ur mother's $$$ only!

well , sweetie .
how many times must ie tell u .
GROW UP !
u want play , ie oso can play de.
although , im having my Ns pretty soon , but its ok .
ie cant still make time for u (:
cause ie care for u !!
LOVE ♥

ps : im an expert in entertaining spammers , its a joy to me (:

2008-09-11T01:19:00.000-07:00

woah , just saw a new comment .
this person calls him / herself ghost ?
why give urself this name my dear?
dont u have a better name to NAME urself?
ie pity u !

" CASANDRA IS A WHORE , UGLY BITCH , FUCK OFF ! "

- my dearest , do u know what is the meaning of WHORE ?
it means having many sexual activities with many guys out thr.
hmm , do u have any evidence that im a whore?
well , if u do . pls kindly prove it (:
Thks.
ugly bitch ? gOsh , my dear .. why are u so jealous of my looks?
Hah , actually only a girl will say another girl a bitch ?
so , ie assume u are a girl / gay ??

" ACT ONE CUTE & PRETTY ! GO DIE LA NO BRAIN BITCH , _l_ U. "

- agains , ie wonder what have ie done to make u so jealous of me & my looks.
u seems to be rly rly unhappy with my looks .
Hah , my dear .
ie dont niid to act cute or pretty .
beauty comes from within (:

No brain biitch ?
How can one live w/o brain ?
omg , my dear . u have to study harder if u want to pass ur exams.
u cant go round thinking that a person can live w/o brains right?
study harder sweet !

" U ARE SO UGLY WHO WILL EVER WANT U ? DISGUSTING FACE ! "

- See , jealousy agains.
my dear , pls , dont get jealous of my looks .
and ie must tell u that , why would ie niid someone to wan me ?
ie know ie have friends and family who truely cares for me , isnt that enough ?
usually , only people who are in desperate niid of a accompany will
think of sentences like ' who will ever wan u ' cause , he/herself noes ,
they wan to seek attention from others.
therefore , ie can see who is the real whore now uh ?

LAST WORDS FOR U . grow up , my dear

2008-09-08T01:15:00.001-07:00

Alriites , things are qettinq out of hand.
more & more passer by are tagging !
ie got 2 tone for heyzxz .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The goood tone is .

To heyzxz :
thks you for ur comment.
However , the way u comment is nort accepted.

The baddd tone is .

To heyzxz :
are you blind or what ?!
did u even read what ie wrote?
ie said stop commenting on kamiing rite?
why the fcuk u say him sucks for?
did ie fcuking hell mentioned that he sucks?
did ie said ie suffered with him ?!
fcuk u , screw u !
why the hell ur mum born u with 2 eyes for ?
Is for you to REAAAAAAAAAAAD , u fool .
im fcuking pissed off at u .
what give him a slap on his face?
Eh , u something wrong in ur head uh ?
ie slap u oso wunt touch his face de ok !

ie at this blog complain here & thr oso nort ur business what .
ie his ex , why cannurt complain .
u are whu ?!
nabeis , a fcuking passerby thr comment so much .
ie alr said politely to another passerby nort to comment in such a rude manner ,
dont u get it?

what kamiing said was right , u care so much FOR ?
busybody !!
and pls , dont niid say he not gentlemen or what leii ,
regardless he is or nOrt , no niid ur comment.
you barging in here and start saying people when
these airnt even ur business , what rights do you have to say him.

Therefore , ie will rly appreciate it if u would just SCREEWW off far far .
dont niid reply , dont niid comment.
if you are interested to read on ,
just sit quietly & read .
no niid for ur comment .

ie will once again tell u politely , pls do not comment anything rude abt this whatever
thing tt happened .
Thank you for viewing & goodbye =D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gosh , im just fcuking pissed off to read these laa.
wtf is all these kpos doing?
damn it , maybe ie should del this tagboard if things continue.
shags ~

2008-09-06T03:10:00.000-07:00

to the passerby : pls , Do not say him to the extend sucks.
cause , ie nv say him sucks , u as a passer by cannurt say him sucks.
thats simply too guo fen ok ?
u may give ur comment in a limtied manner .
so , thks for ur comment but dont put in such a over limit manner .

hmmm , what to say leii . ie oso dunnoe what to say abt here.
thinking abt del-ing this blog lers.
dont know leii .
del means no more liaooo .
abit she bu de , nort cause of him .
is cause this blog consist of memories built up tgt.
how to del sia !

2008-09-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

an advise from me ,
maybe this can put an end to every quarrels ?

SIMPLE , all u got to do is save up some $$$ for her to do some plastic surgery ?

do nort go to those cheap cheap ones like , china etc .
cause , im afraid ltr her face becomes worst ?
Hahahaas =D

dun worries , its just an ADVISE u might wish to take.
but , do be prepared , im nort shure if the doctors will be willing to do surgery on a such a
' BEAUTIFUL ' face?
oops ~

a passerby asked one of us to give in .
yes , ie agree .
but , ie WUNT be the ONE to give in (:

hey , kamiing ..
u should know howww UNREASONABLE ie can get when im pissed off rite?
YESS , wait till im cooled down & see my da xiao jie mood .
maybe , ie will put an end to this .
maybe ie will nort , see how laaa .
ie wan den will stop , ie dunwans ..
nutting can stop me (:

u brought this upon urself one (:

ps : at first , knowing u was one of the most happiest thing that can ever happened to me.
im like a crazy lil girl who is in love so deeply .
spending every sec , min , hours thinking of u all the time .
loving u more than ever as each min passes .
However , u broke her heart with excuses & hurts.
all of the sudden u seems so cold blooded to hurt her without mercy .
saying all the hurtful things to her .
shattered her dreams into million of pieces .

Yes , in the past whenever u shattered my heart into million of pieces .
still , ie will be like a good puppy waiting for u to take me bakk .
ie learnt my lesson , no longer am ie going to be such a dumb dumb .

our memoriies was something which will stay in my heart no matter
what we becomes .
even if we're enemies , memoriies of us still will be in my heart .

dumping me alr hurted me damn deeply.
but , ie hate u moree for making excuses to dump me & in less den 1 month u
are with a new girl .
ie hate u twice time MORE for saying hurtful stuff to me even after we brk up .

ie spent half of my teenage life with u .
this isnt a joke , our relationship was alr part of my life .
something that ie put hopes & dreams on .
however , u can just smash everything to the floor just cause u fade feeling
for me without considerations of my feelings.

ie dun see why ie shuld now be considerate of what ur feelings is or ur gf's .

2008-09-03T07:48:00.000-07:00

ie decided to add on to this .
At first , in the start .
ie said his gf was merely a one day post ?
cause as u can see , after that ie stop posting abt his gf in my blog .
if ie had continue non stop saying his gf in my blog , fine .
ie will accept that kamiing come scold me.
However , that was nort the case .
my purpose for posting was to show the reason whyy ie wasnt affected .
& how suprised ie was to see my own reaction after viewing him & his gf piic.
cause , on that day .
ie happened to saw their pic & decided to post abt
whyy ie am nort affected by their piic .
its just soooo happen that , its because his gf rly wasnt that good looking .
BUT , ie did nort say she was UGLY in the first place.
nort that good looking = normal , nort as pretty as ie expected.
agains , like ie said .
cause ie once view jiaqi's ( jiayi friend ) de friendster .
& so happen jiayi was in the foto .
cause that photo was edited , she somehow look pretty inside.
den when ie saw the actual pic .
ie went to conclude she wasnt that good looking .
but , ie wasnt planning on insulting her or purposely saying her in my blog.

BUT , ie did nort expect that kamiing will come criticise me .
therefore , because of this .
ie decided that ie shall criticise his gf non stop until im happy abt it (:
since he cared so much , let him care more.
He did nort even think twice .

why would ie insult his gf ?
ie gave them my blessing .
somehow , ie must must repeat that the one day post abt his gf , was just that very day .
ie was so suprise by my reaction after ie saw their piic.
therefore , ie must state down the reason whyy ie will react this way right .
it so happen that the reason was because of his gf look .
den ltr on THIS blog ie sounded very sacrastic was because kamiing went to criticise me .
get it ?

note : ie didnt plan to rly criticise her , somehow ie nv rly criticise her yet .
But , smart alec went to make the thing worst .
Fineee , ie dun like giving up on games.
anws , it has just began right?

2008-09-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

Hahahaas =D
come on laa .
tokking abt serious here?
OMG , seriously , what rights u got to tokk abt seriousness with me uh ?
starting of the relationship , why should ie be serious when ie hardly even know u at that time .
after time passes , thats how ie gt into the relationship .
come on laa , if starting immd serious , is damn FAKKE cans.
erm & even tho ie wasnt serious , ie didnt TIMEED u maa , unlike someone.
serious still can time.
reason for timing : ie playful maa .
omg , only the stupidest girl will accept this reason ,
somehow , im that stupid girl .
ok , nvm.

u nort the specialist for throwing things away ?
LOL ,
1 min - I LOVE YOU , I DUN WANS TO LOSEE U.
next min - Ohh , thr u're gone.

when ie was holding u bakk ,
what did u said?
' this is my life , WO BU YAO NI LE '
ohh , thr , u dumped me .
so , isnt that UR SPECIALIST ?!
Heh heh , cause u have done this more den one time -.-'

' but wat abt the good ones ? surprises , tolerate this and tt .
u all also don rmb le ba .
everyday fetch u from workkeep quiet when kena shout infront of far east plaza
appearing at ur sch thr in the early morning
ride bicycle from yishun to ur hse
give in to ur attitudesss
when u no freedom , i was thr to wait .
stil gt so much to say , guess u knw it urself . '

- yes yes , indeed u did all of that , but somehow ..
ie guess u will do that for ur gf soon too ?
maybe thats one of ur methods to catch hold of a girl hearts soo many many girl will love u ?
ehh , maybe only hor .
maybe u truely frm ur heart did this things .
but somehow , its hard to know ..
cause u are just sooo fickle miinded .
ie have no idea what's deep down in ur heart .
Oh & attitude , come on .
ie forgive u when u timed me , isnt it the verryy right to accept my attitude ?
and ie realise , u didnt mention abt me nort trusting u .
Why ?! cause u noe that u have totally no rights to complain abt me nort trusting u !
But , last time , u broke up with me oso cause u complain NO TRUST .
seriously , do u deserve my trust ?
bu , nvm its the past (:

' who is thr to appreciate and even rmb it ? '
- come on , u dun even cherish this relationship .
This 22 month relationship , u wan tokk to me abt APPRECIATE ?
omg ! agains , no rights to say this cause ,
the person whu did nort appreciate is YOU
somehow , u gt change of taste .
u like another dishes .
& dump away me ( the old dish )
somehow , u changed ur taste of dish oso gt problem .
Heh heh heh =D
like , normal humans will like a better set of dish ,
guess u choose the unwanted ones?
NO harmful meanings =x

'don say til as if i treat u as dirt can ? u ask urself how u treat me first la .'
- Oh my , oh my .
how u noe ? u indeed treated me like a dirt .
now , u blowww me away .
LOL !
ask myself how ie treated u .
OK , ie admit .. ie wasnt that perfecttt gf.
However , if u didnt timed me ,
ie wouldnt nort trust u .
& if ie didnt nort trust u ,
we wouldnt have quarrelled ?
den ie wouldnt have attitude u soo much .
Oh , so lets think again ?
conclusion ?

' if u realli treat me as fren or wat so ever . don keep on insult my gf '
- ehh , treat u as friend cannurt insult ?
ie do lovee to insult her , somehow .
ie enjoy doing that (:
oops , howw?

' but i don understand y must u say her when she did not even say u . forget it . '
- come on laaa , she nv say me , ie cannurt say her?
den my mother nv eat dinner today ie oso cannurt eat dinner issit?
ie wan write what , my business .
whu is she that ie cannurt write abt her ?
she is president daughter maa?
Ehh , ie dunwans insult president .
his daughter is soo much more prettier =x
so , ie musnt compare it with her.

ps : nort that ie wan quarrel with u now .
u msut see boy , that if u didnt SAYY me in the first place , ie wouldnt have said bak.
ohh , ie knew u were going to say u didnt mention names ..
Blah blah blah .
den , can ie conclude that as long as ie DUN MENTION names , ie can say whuever ie wan to insult / criticise ?

2008-09-02T07:16:00.000-07:00

fuck u la hor . u also knw i nvr mention name , den how u knw im toking abt u ? come on la . and , don say til u nvr hurt me before can ? in thr fucking first place on 170606 , u not even serious get it ?
and , i don feel i owe u anymore apologyyyyyy . -.-''
and i nvr say anything abt my gf got hurt anot , i only say bcos of tt blog me and her quarrel . pls don assume .
and ! stop saying tt im SPECIALIST in throwing things away , and wat u're the real victim ? nonsense ~
brk up den bcome victim ? don say til as if i treat u as dirt can ? u ask urself how u treat me first la .
i can say , i treat u bad is i time u , i admit . but wat abt the good ones ? surprises , tolerate this and tt . u all also don rmb le ba .
everyday fetch u from work
keep quiet when kena shout infront of far east plaza
appearing at ur sch thr in the early morning
ride bicycle from yishun to ur hse
give in to ur attitudesss
when u no freedom , i was thr to wait .
stil gt so much to say , guess u knw it urself .
i knw also all this is fucking pointless , viewers pls don mistaken .
i only wan u to know , im not a specialist in dumping YOU . get it ?
those things i've done for you , who is thr to appreciate and even rmb it ?
no one ~ perhaps in other ppls eyes , im jus a flirt . it's ok . cos they'll nvr knw .
even to u , im the most sucky guy in ur eye le ba . it's ok too .
i donno wat to say le . pls , if u realli treat me as fren or wat so ever . don keep on insult my gf . i knw u don give a shit . but i don understand y must u say her when she did not even say u . forget it .
nights all .

2008-09-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

helloooo .
in the first place , ie didnt start insulting YOU.
ie insult ur gf cannurt maa?
this blog oso nort ur gf one .
ie wan insult her u dun like den ur business maa.
say liiao , ur gf nort happy can come maa.
den , u say ie criticise u .
OK .

' donno y in this world got ppl who only knw how to give comment on other ppl and not even takin a good look in the mirror of him/herself '
- tho u didnt mentions NAMEEES but , its pretty obvious only a dummy wunt know
whu u are meaning to .
therefore , u when to help ur gf insult me bakk .
ur wrong , if u didnt start saying me will ie even criticise?

' wat i see nw is humilates , criticises and insults . y must u do all these ? why!!! '

- erm , its a lil dramatic here , however .. its ok .
once again ie have to say , u started everything ?
u criticise me first & now its my fault to criticise u ?
come on , u can say me , shureee ie have plenty of things to say u bakk .
nort that ie wan to or what .
cause u are still my ex =/
However , stating the facts is .
if u didnt go KPO come say me , none of this would have happen .
therefore , indeed u owe me a apologise .
as ie was sooo hurt to see my ex saying me .
Hahahahas =D

OH , note that u dun come tell me what ur gf oso will hurt or whateveeer shit.
cause , ie totally do not give a damn abt ur gf feelings .
she very sad u blog den ask her go bang her head on the wall ,
make herself lost memory lor. ( JOKE )
LOL , nort my business maa .
seriously , she my whu ?
ie must give a damn to her uh ?
she gt tt ability to make me give a damn abt her feelings?
so , note .
ie do nort have to see her face .

BUT BUT , of course ..
ie will have nv even said u if u didnt went to say me uh ?
thats common sense .
u strted the things first .
& its the facts thats ur specialist ?
no niid ie write in this blog , everyone oso noe it ma.
LOL , so ie didnt spoil ur reputation ok .

therefore , my conclusion is .
DO NOT make urself sound like a victim here?
cause , in a very sad case ..
im the real victim here .
Heh heh heh .

Oh , u wanna be unreasonable
' decided to GIVE everything back . i've think abt it very long too '

- so , ie merely replied u ..
dunniid give back just THROW AWAY , simple .
take the rubbish dump into the plastic bag , go outside ur lift there .
step open ur silver rubbish thing ..
dump it inside & release ur feet .
TAADAAA , done .
simple (:
hey , boy .. im helping u !
teaching u how to throw rubbish siaa , now u owe me a THANKK YOU :D

ps : the hurt u caused to me .
do nort complain , cause u have absolutly nooo rights to (:
Oh & ie didnt say ie dunwans be friend with u laa .
AGAINS , did ie even step on ur tail in the first place ?
nono , u said me & ie said back .
Fairness , boy.
maybe its YOU whu didnt wan to be friend & rather be enemy?
gOsh -.- , kamiing .
im no longer that girl whu let u pushes ard & ie will wipe silently in one corner.
somehow , ie do have my limits .
& my limit clearly says , ie do nort torelate u saying ME .
cause , after hurting me soooo badly in the past .
ie dun see any position u stand to hurt me once again (:

2008-09-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

hey , the way u write abit too much le ba , ' u don wan den throw la tt your specialist ' kaos. u is wanna insult or criticise me in this blog ? is u say tt i nvr post in this blog den ask me if i wan delete not . after tt , did i start to do blogging ? my gf and i even quarrel over this matter . but i told her , i did not use blog to contact u wat . i only POST in this blog . so i ask her not to worry , which i shld . den nw ? wat i see nw is humilates , criticises and insults . y must u do all these ? why!!!
u say u don wanna be enemy , but the way u tok realli sounds like u wan . the way u insult me doesnt sounds like u treat me as fren at all . the way u tok realli too much alr . u make me wanna do postings in this blog inorder to let me see all ur criticises of me and my gf ? if tt's the case , sorry , im no longer interested in posting in this blog anymore . i tot tt this blog can be something i can write in when im not feeling good or wat . end up , i feel tt this blog only let me see criticises and humilates .
my gf and i quarrel over this blog . i told her i wil only post . nothing else . i fight for it ! end up ! ccb , come here is to see myself kena insult . forget it . u happy den good los . k ?
bye all.

2008-09-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

hmm ,
actually , u can just throw away all the things laa -.-'
dunniid give back de , my room no space for these things.
LOL.
steady de . u give me back rly no liink lorr.
u dunwans den throw laa , thats ur specialist maa.
u dunwans a thing can just kick it away .
den now dunnoe how to throw mehh ?
dun lame laaa .

ohh , den my mistake lor .
she is ' skinnnyy ' den kkays?
chill man ~
oh , ie will encourage u to edit her arms & cheekbones if u rly dunwans
ppl to see her as , u noee what .
Hahahaas =D
but , my post in MY blog wunt be del-ed wors.
thats comfirm , shure , many many ppl will be viewing it laa.
im nort going to do any corrections & change my words into she-is-oh-so-pretty.
cause , she's nort laa. ( oops ~)
ie base on facts frm what ie saw.
like jiaqi , she's pretty , ie admit to everyone she is.
& if she's nort , ie dun say lies.
ie said she is u noee whatt , ie didnt say im nort big size .
well , but , im shure that im way better den her?
ib nort why am ie able to be happy when ie saw ur pic ?
its like , no effect laa.
(-____-'')
rly sian diaoo leii .

ie can say if ur stead is jiaqi , ie will get angry & upset .
BUT BUT , she ... heh heh -.-'
EEEEeeee yucks.

ok laa . dun say sooo much on her looks alr.
she nort happy come only,
u whr nort happy ask her go make u happy la !

LOL.

ps: pls hor , throw throw throw away , dun come give me bakk laa.
do something u always do best .
throwing away unwanted things.
Hahahaas =D

2008-08-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

gooossshhh . decided to GIVE everything back . i've think abt it very long too . actually , u got bf or not also don need tel me de . u wanna tel me for ? -.- ji tao~ and , thx for UR~~~~ BLESSINGS . . . . and of cos , im not worried abt u . i also knw u're happier without me . so many guys , of cos happy la . lols . * don need reply to any of these sentence * anw , donno y in this world got ppl who only knw how to give comment on other ppl and not even takin a good look in the mirror of him/herself . c'on , she's so much smaller size den . . . hahas! laughs . . k k . gtg sleep le .
' nvr judge an appearance from it's image when u've not even seen it in live ' jus a quote .
no name is mentioned , so ~ don assume . jiao au !

2008-08-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

We dont even talk anymore.
We both went our seprate ways.
At first we were lovers and now we seems to be so far apart.
I wish on the brightest star that i could find out where u are.
I wish u could understand how i feel
but of course u cant cause
u have forgotten where the loves at!
sometimes i say to myself , 'wasnt i good enough for u?'
Even though i love u so much
but i think its time to close my heart for u
and keep it all inside me!
Now i think its time to say goodbye

hmm , im moving on to my world alr .
a world whr he doesnt play a part in it.
no longer waiting for his return baa .
ie realise , all this while ..
im still waiting for his return ,
ie was still secretly hoping that
maybe we will still be able to be tgt agains.

ie realised , how foolish ie am
to be having fancy thinking on me & him
ie was secretly waiting for him to come bakk to my side.
How foolish .
now , ie decided to truly let go alr.
& after this 1 month + , ive gotten use to the life
im living now.
therefore , ie believe ..
im able to say , byebye to our love.

ie dun wish to shed tears for this relationship
neither do ie wish to continue thinking abt him .
ie dun wish to wait secretly ,
ie dun wish to give myself false hope on US.
ie dun wish to be so silly .
ie decided to wake up (:

Yes , yes . ie gonna wake up .
wake up from my foolish dream , wake up from my childishness .
ie realise , ie haven give u and ur gf a true blessing .
Hahahaas ,

well , kaming .
must last long with ur gf laa .
best is longer den me & u .
brk our record , im looking forward to it.
when u guys ever brk our record of 22 mOnths ,
write in this blog & tell me la !
LOL .
dun unreasonablee with ur gf .
giving my biggest blessing to u .
this time , NO CURSE inside .
ie swear =D

last time , ie say giving u my blessing , inside all got curse de .
but , this time ..
is a one true blessing wors !

dun worries abt me , cause ..
im living a happy life w/o u still ..
maybe last few post , ie was still unhappy .
but , thats cause ..
ie haven wake up yet .
but , after thinking for 1 whole nite .
after asking myself , why am ie making MYSELF so miserable ..
ie decided , ie got to put an end to my own misery .
soo , ie decided to truly let go & move on (:

when ie gt bf lers , ie will write in this blog ok ?
Hahahahas .

ps : friend , we are friends always .

2008-08-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight I stare at these bare walls as I wipe these bitter tears,
This heart of mine was once filled with love is now blank and empty,
Never thought in my life
I'll experience this serenity.
The bliss I knew before is pain I can't bear,
Wishing all these grief and sorrow is just a part of a big nightmare.
I once believed all I need to do is smile, To conquer the pain I feel inside me.
I don't know how to grin and what I shall be,
Now my heart have closes ,
Tonight I stare at these bare walls hoping this is all a nightmare,
that as I wake up again I'll get over this despair.

Haiis D=
everytime when im alone , ie cant stop thinking abt him
LOVE is somethings that bring lots of pain .
shags ~
nvm , ie shall smile my way thru this (:

2008-08-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

when the past is
certain to be left to collect dust ,
they will den only be able to open
into the future .

that's my feeling now baa =/

2008-08-26T03:15:00.000-07:00

You can break my heart a million times,
but I will not fear love.
It is not Love that caused my pain,
but caring for someone who could not feel my love.

its been a month + alr?
Hahahas =/
well , time passes so fast .
still im on the process of letting go & trying to stop loving him.
shags ~ how long more do ie niid to take.

somehow , ie tried hating him .
but it didnt last long .
ie couldnt hate him for long ..
cause still my love is stronger than hate.
still , ie will end up missing him .
ie del-ed his contact so ie could just move on .
but , now , here ie am ..
asking myself if deleting his contact was the right thing.
maybe its right , thats what a person who is trying to forget a love should do right?

ITS RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT !!!

ie realised something , nv believe in a relationship too much .
nv put ur bf/gf in the first place of ur heart .
cause when it comes to brk up ,
only ur friends will be thr for u .
bf/gf may say ,' ie will always be here for u , '
bf/gf always say ,' when u feel like crying , ie can lend u my shoulder to lean on. '

However , they did nort realise ..
they are the ones who make tears fall out , they did nort realise ..
they will nv be thr when u're sad , cause they was the one whu created saddness
therefore , nv put ur bf / gf in the first place ..
cause , its nv worth it.
& ie will nv repeat my mistake agains.
Yes , bf may be impt however .. my friends are moreee impt =D
nowadays , for no reason , my brain kept repeating the same words he said to me.
' WO BU YAO NI LE ' ie dunnoe whyy laa .
& it still does affects me .
his gf must be sooo hornoured to hear him telling me off that time uh ?
Hahahahas =/

2008-08-23T13:34:00.001-07:00

:o
10 km run ?
woah , niiiice ..
keep fit.

hmm , reached hm at abt 1:30am ?
went to ah ma hus , watched a disgusting DVD with nana & geo.
abit RA , cause no censored de.
EHH , wait wait .
why am ie writing this here ..
this shuld be for my own blog one.
-.-'

4:15am still cant sleep ..
guess , ie was looking forward to his post ?
ERM , dun get me wrong =x
its cause this is his blog that's whyy ie will wan read so muuchh .
im his reader maa ?
hmm , like that say gt liink nort?
suan ler .. ie dunnoe wad ie tokking oso ..
going to update my own blog den SLEEEP .

Hahaha , someone have to RUN 10km while ie get to sleep .
Hohoho =p
ok , evil me.
GOODNITES ALL EXCEPT the ONE thats running ltr , dun think u will be sleeping alr?

ga . . . . .

2008-08-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

nw at chambers . goin play dota liao . wish me OWNAGE ! LOLS! ltr 6.15am stil have to go til padang for 10 KM run ! sians half . k la.. shall end here. nights .

2008-08-23T04:44:00.000-07:00

thks you for posting .
read ur msn niick , u said just only one post ,
immdly , my heart beat speed up , ie clench my fist ,
ie felt butterfly in my stomach , ie felt so happy & nervous.
Hahahaas , tho its a short post ,
but to me , ie means alot still ..

2008-08-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

actually , i've LOADS TO SAY ! but !!! i cant say it !!!!!! nononononono , i realli cant say it . lame me . -.-
ga . . . . . . . . . . .

2008-08-23T04:17:00.000-07:00

WOW ! so long nvr post liao -.- ga . . . . . . . . . ~
siao bo ? post den donno wat to say , anw , jus book out today cos of COC parade .
jus ate my dinner too , wanton mee ! maybe ltr goin play dota with frens ba .
k ba , donno wat to write le . free den update again . =)
sorry for such a short post . out of the sudden , mind is in a blank .
km

2008-08-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of feelings, I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of playing the same old games.
I'm tired of stories with no conclusions.

You used to be my reason to breath,
And now your're the reason why im bleeding.
Why can't I live with good-byes?
I'm sick of hurt, I'm sick of pain
why should I live if there's nothing to gain?
I gave all I have to give,
BUT still , things just fell apart again .

still , thinking abt him .
thr's this passer by said he/she thinks that kamiing treats me as a spare tire.
Haiis , maybe its true?

I dunnoe .. still , when im outside my skool , ie will
think abt him coming to skool to piick me up .
everything is all the past .
ie know that everything have end , but whyy cant ie stop loving u !

2008-08-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

I always thought we'd grow old together,
Facing each new day.
But now, in the tears that fall upon my face.
Your face fades away.

In my bedroom, surrounded by empty walls.
I want to scream and shout.
My mouth opens, but the tortured words...
Just won't come out.

Used to think I was so lucky.
I had it all.
Nothing unknown is knowable, so depressed.
You just watched me fall.

My heart bleeds.
The snow becomes red.
Were you ever here?
Do you even care ?

You're like salt on an open wound.
Reminding me you once were here.
Warm like the blood in my veins.
The love I had for you, so dear.

u've cause me to be hurt so badly , so badly that ie just wanna hurt u back .
ie just wanna say those harsh things to u .
but , do u rly think ie did nort ever loved u ?

USE UR BRAINS & THINK AGAIN .

Haiis ,
cause of whatever that took place ,
it even affected my health , ie couldnt slp at nite .
falling ill day by day .
cause , the hurt u caused..
rly hurts alot .

ie was so unprepared .
imagine , one min ur mine & next ur gone.
how does that feel ?
22 mOnths , just gone within a blink of an eye .
putting urself in my shoes ,
do u think ie could accept that ?
ie had hope on us , lots of hope .
but , all of the sudden u just disappear frm my life .
do u think ie can accept that ?

One min , ur kisisng me , hugging me , telling me u LOVE me .
next min , there u are , doing the same thing to another girl .
do u think ie can accept that ?
yes , if u would take a min & understand ..
u would noe , boy ..
u have hurted me deeply D=

ps: ie wunt blame u if u dun understand still , cause .. u nv did .

2008-08-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Why do I love you
With all my heart?
Why did I fall for you
From the start?

Why do you cause me
So much pain?
Why do you stick to my heart
Like a stain?

Why couldn't I see
You weren't gonna stay?
Why did I believe
You were gonna take the pain away?

Why did you play my heart
Like a game?
Why couldn't you ever
Feel the same?

Why do I sit In my room all alone?
Why do I pray
You would call my phone?

Why did you end it
Right after our 22 months ?
Why didn't it bother you
When you made my eyes tear?

Why cant I stop thinking of you,
Why can't I say goodbye?

Why do I still get jealous
When I know you're with another girl?

Why can't I forget about you
And put you in the past?
Why does a part of me still believe
That me and you were made to last?

guess , thats what ppl says ,
im just a stupid girl whu still cant let go >.<
gdniites all.

2008-08-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

hey , ie got bored & read up our old post ..
& ie come across this ..
Haiis , tears just non stop flowing out.
FCUK.

on , 19 aug 2007 , sunday.
'' hmmm. long long long time nvr post le.. LOLS! past few days happened lots of thing..
darling was being chased away. cos she wanted FREEDOM.
the first she met is me. i know she's feeling down at tt moment.. and of cos.
she also cannot find place to sleep.. tt makes me worry den i have to pei her the whole day..
tt's i shld do rite?? hahas.
first night.. we went to cemetry~ with frens and DUA LI YA PEH. darling was scared in the beggining.. hahas. til midnight den go back Enous.
after tt pple drive us back to yishun. but tt day very du lan lorr.
i got ONE fren like to get near to cas.. don wanna say out HIS name.
DAR, must learn how to move away when other guy stands near u can??
i see le very JEALOUS leh! lols.when we reach yishun, DAR sneak into my hse. hahas.
she spent her first night outside at my hse. hahas.. hug her for the whole night ZzZzzZ. sweet hor?
2nd sec was not tt good.. got quarrel abit. but nvm.. it's over anw.. hahas!
den night time we went to find place to sleep.. DAR, u xing ku, i also pei u xing ku ok?? =)
loads of PROMISES was made# =D
2nd night we sleep at a place.. very stupid la.. i don wan say out where.. hahas.. very Paiseh. =)
but of cos nvr do anything lar pple! don misunderstand!
3rd day, morning we left the place back to yishun by bus.
Dar de leg keep numb.. so funny. hahas.. when we reach yishun den rain.. sway!
den dar met her frens at Northpoint Mac.. den i went home to change and help her charge hp..
lols.. den sunddenly, something happened which dar don wish it wil happen.
her parents saw her!!! OMG! and of cos, her mum ask her to go home. den her dad threathened to report police.
lols. when her parents left, i meet her at mrt station. she pei me go orchard for job interview with my frens.
after everything, we spent our last moment tgt. cos she have to go home.
dar in unwilling to home. but i WAN her to~ so yeahs. and yup!
we went to take neoprint. dear.. nice hor?? hahas.. after tt we buy ice cream and eat.
Dar eat ice cream so slow..~ stil eat til like xiao hua mao like tt..eat til whole lips also full of chocalate.. hahas.. when i finish mine, she share with me her's. both of us bite one end.. SO SWEET. at tt moment, i feel like crying wor.. *watery eyes at tt moment*
cos i very happy ma.. den i see her face. so silly and cute.. =)
11pm+ , she have to go home le. we took mrt and alight at amk.. and of cos, i know she very very bu she de.. me too wor.. LOLS..
see her up the bus 852. when she left, i suddenly felt so lonely.. i have to walk alone AGAIN!
i cann no longer feel her hand and hear her voice.
tt's the thing which makes me feel so lonely. but nvm, i'll wait for her freedom..
i wil not take back my words de..when i reach home she stil haven even sms me..
makes me feel so WORRY at tt moment. *sobs*sobs and wait for her sms til i fall asleep.
next morning saw her sms. felt so happy..
dar, don every regret goin home ok?? don be silly.i really cannot make it without u.. realli~
i love u so much.. MISS YOU like the dessert MISS the rain =)
i love u forever misses MUACKS! ''

Haiis , so much changes in everything.
this post rly touches me , cos his word are words that came thru his heart .
thinking abt it , imagining the scene once agains , unknowningly .
tear just swelled up my eyes.
WHY things have to just change so much ..
Haiis , its abt 1 years ago frm now..
see the differences?
D=